it's late-o'clock and one day i will honor you with a more thorough accounting of these days, this passage of time, with particular passages of prose.
but what you need to know for now is:
* the housing search has been hard/hilarious
* we got offered a house we really liked in santa cruz last night!
* they called back this morning and said they were thinking of changing their mind!
* it felt bad/scary/shake-a-tiny-fist
* we went to the oncology appointment
* the doctor started off the appointment with a little chit-chat:
(to rebecca) "how are you doing today?"
rebecca: (laughs) well kinda crazy...we were looking for housing and thought we found something and then we didn't and it's a little strange feeling."
doctor: (shakes his head and smiles) well, if you've got bad housing news, how about we give you some good news?
(time elapses, he offers the gist of the information)
doctor:....so it's headed in the right direction, all across the board.
rebecca: great! i've been doing a bunch of things...
doctor: it's my opinion that you should continue doing those things.
it's my opinion you all should continue doing the things you've been doing.
this is working! y'all...listen:
* there was no evidence of tumors increasing in size
* there were many tumors that either decreased in size, or disappeared altogether
* her pancreas and adrenals appear to be clear of tumors
* her liver is down to something like 1 tumor, and that one went from 1 inch in diameter to about 1 cm in diameter
* many places where she had metastases on her bones, there was evidence of the bones regenerating and the tumor taking its leave
* her lungs (her lungs!) have entire places in them that are accessing oxygen that weren't before. lots of great stuff happening there.
so! i don't know if that means we're 10% there or 50% there or anything. but i know this ship's headed in the right direction. and i know this good ship is piloted by more than the pills that rebecca takes. or the mushroom tea she drinks or the sugar she's not eating or the blueberries she is.
this is a ship of faith, of glorious surrender, and you are all stewarding it through some very rough waters in this time for this family.
you are AMAZING and your gift of prayer is a miracle and you're a miracle and here comes our miracle...gestating, growing, growing, crowning, birthing!
may rebecca's body be clear of all tumors
we offer gratitude for the restoration of her eyesight
we offer gratitude for the ongoing health of baby solas
in jesus' name we make this prayer
in jesus' name we give thanks for this healing
mary hold us
mary hold us
brigid guide us